The Great Outdoors
by Meadowcreek
Summary: What do you get when you put Mountains, Shawn and Gus, handcuffs, and a group of blood thirsty thugs together? Duh, another story about Shawn and Gus running for their lives! No slash, just hilarity.
1. Prologue

**Prologue **

"_Come on, Gus keep up with me!" Shawn panted, craning his neck to peer behind him at his friend. Gus staggered through the thick brush, tripping and stumbling unceremoniously. Shawn's left hand was twisted awkwardly behind his back and Gus's right hand was thrown forward. Why were they like this? Shawn and Gus were handcuffed. Together. "Hurry!" Shawn screamed, panic in his voice as growling increased behind them. They skidded out of the woods, and paused on the edge of the cliff, looking down that the frothing water below, handcuffs clinking loudly. They exchanged a glance, and jumped. _


	2. The Cabin in the Woods

Gus jerked wake in the trunk of a car. It lurched sickeningly, making him gag.

"Oh, please, don't throw up while were both crammed in here," Shawn's slurred voice echoed from behind him. He jumped, then went to raise his hand to his temple, only to have it stop halfway there and have metal dig into his right wrist. He whimpered with pain.

"Oh yeah, were handcuffed. Just to let you know."

"Shawn…I'm gonna-"

"Please don't say 'puke'."

"I was going to say kill you but what you said sounds better." Gus winced as the cold metal dug into his skin.

Shawn fumbled with the handcuff on his wrist and attempted to pick the lock. No good. He sighed and rested his head on the floor. The car turned a sharp corner and Shawn slammed into Gus, squishing him against the trunk door.

"Get your body off of me!"

"Get your body out from under mine!" Shawn retorted sharply.

The car stopped and there was the sound of talking and the doors slamming. The trunk door swung open and bright light assaulted his eyes. They where jerked out roughly, one dragging the other out, since they were handcuffed, and landed in an awkward tangle of limbs on the ground.

"Get up!" one demanded.

"Well, not very impressed with the service so far…" Shawn mumbled, trying to untangle himself from Gus.

"Shut up!" the cold barrel of a gun was pressed against the back of his neck.

"Or?"

"Or I'll put a bullet in your brain."

"Fair enough," Shawn said, then fell silent, a serious look on his face. They were surrounded by mountains on either side, and trees as far as the eye could see. Shawn started scanning the house. It was old, with no electricity from the looks of it. Its heavily over-grown yard suggested it wasn't well kept up either.

"You should really fire whoever does the yard work here, I mean, seriously, look at toughs poor daisies. "

Gus and him were jerked to their feet, and taken inside a house. There they were led to the back of the house, to the bedroom.

Once inside, the men roughly pushed them into the closet. A large pole, only inches away from the wall was in the middle.

"Sit." one of them demanded.

Shawn sat on the left and Gus on the right. The handcuffs where taken off, then wrapped on the sides of the pole, and put back on. Now they were stuck.

"So, uh, whats going to happen to us?" Shawn asked nonchalantly, surveying his chances of getting out of this without screaming like a girl.

"You?" The man laughed, "Dehydration? Animals? Whatever one comes for you first." he added darkly, closing the door and leaving them in the dark in more than one way. Then he left.

There was an awkward silence as they listened to the sound of the cars wheels churn on the driveway, and gradually the sound faded away.

It was Shawn who broke the silence. "Gus?"

"What?"

"What kind of," he cleared his throat, "animals are out here exactly? I'm guessing its not like Santa Barbra's wildlife."

Gus tilted his head from side to side, "Coyotes, Bears, Cougar's. That kind of fun stuff." Shawn nodded.

"Not to bad,"

"What?!" Gus exploded, "Not to bad? NOT TO BAD?! Were going to get eaten, Shawn! And all you can say is 'aw, that's not to bad,'" Gus eyed him furiously.

"Were not going to get eaten, okay?" Shawn stated with a sigh, "we'll dehydrate."

Gus scoffed, "Very reassuring."

"Hey, I'm the one that's trying to be positive in this mess!"

"YOURE the reason why were in this mess!"

Shawn paused, thinking of a comeback, "Okay so maybe I did. I'm sorry."

"No your not."

Another silence.

"So your just gonna give up? Like this in the end?" Shawn asked Gus disbelievingly.

"Were handcuffed to a pole, Shawn, in the middle of the mountains. Its getting dark outside. The odds are not necessarily in our favor."

"What is that thing? 'May the odds be ever in your favor'?" Shawn asked.

Gus growled, "Your missing my point Shawn." That was the only part Shawn heard. He was surveying the pole. His eyes scanned it then followed it up to the ceiling. It almost looked like… Suddenly he kicked out as hard as he could, and the pole rattled, sending a shower of the roof onto their heads.

"What the hell Shawn? Are you having a spasm attack or something? " Gus yelled irritably shaking white clumps off of his head.

"Help me!" he kicked it again. There was a loud crack as the ceiling split. Gus then understood. He kicked. Shawn kicked. The closet by now was filled with dust, causing their eyes to water and Gus to have a coughing attack.

Shawn gave it one more solid kick, and the pole fell away from the wall. Gasping Shawn beat the closet door open with his legs. He, forgetting the handcuffs, clambered out into the fresh air, dragging Gus with him. They lay on their backs for a couple of minutes, regaining their breath. Shawn coughed violently, then wheezed, "I think I have the black lung."

Gus eyed him, "You only get the black lung when you work in a mine, you know that right?"

"I've heard it both ways."

Shawn rolled on his side, exhaustion making his eyes heavy. Gus's breathing had deepened next to him, he was asleep.

_I'm only going to close my eyes for a moment,_ Shawn thought, eyes flickering shut against the harsh raze of the sun streaming through the window. When he opened them what felt like only moments later, it was dark. He sat up, looking out the window at the full moon, the handcuff chain jingling slightly. What he saw made his eyes widen. _Oh, no._


	3. Big Hairy Yellow Eyes

Shawn tried to scream. He couldn't. He didn't even know what he was seeing. A figure had rose up, blocking the light out from the full moon. Massive shaggy paws placed themselves on the window pane and two yellow eyes glared in the room, focused on Shawn. He took a deep breath, _I'm not gonna scre- _it moved.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH!" Shawn leaped to his feet, screaming shrilly. The creature dropped down on all fours and, with a awkward lumbering gate loped into the woods. Gus thrashed awake, and with inhuman speed was on his feet staring around the room. Shawn was still screaming.

"What? What? What?" Gus shook Shawn.

"Big…hairy…yellow eyes…" Shawn pointed at the window, then fainted, going boneless.

"Sh-Shawn!" Gus exclaimed not able to hold his best friends weight up. He let Shawn slump onto the floor. _What Is he dreaming about? Or was he even dreaming? _Gus wondered. Fighting down his own unease he peered out the window into the frosty night. Nothing. Nothing except for the sounds of owls and crickets. Gus frowned, then turned back around and woke Shawn.

"Hey, Shawn what did you see?"

Shawn was beginning to recover. His breathing evened out and his eyes weren't so wild. Shawn didn't look like Gus's best friend anymore. Shawn looked smaller, like a scared child. Shawn wrapped his arms around himself like a do-it-yourself hug, then shook his head vigorously. He wasn't going to say anymore. Gus nodded then helped him to his shaky legs. Gus knew Shawn wasn't faking. He had seen something that had scared him into silence.

That scared Gus. Shawn? Silence? Toughs two things just didn't mix. The had just made it out into the hallway, when the boards in the very back of the house creaked. Shawn and Gus exchanged an uneasy glance.

"This house gives me the creeps. Lets get outta here," Shawn whispered. Gus nodded. The Gus tried to go right, and Shawn tried to go left. The cuffs tightened around their wrists.

"This isn't going to work." Shawn predicted, yanking Gus in his direction.

"Who says I want to go that way?" Gus growled, storming in his direction.

Shawn grabbed the wall, "We go _this way_," he pulled.

Gus frowned, "No we go _this way_," he pulled.

As you can imagine, this continued for several minutes.

"Okay stop!" Gus yelled. His wrist was bleeding, and he was pretty sure Shawn's last yank had dislocated his shoulder.

"So I win!" Shawn puffed out his chest proudly. His wrist had been rubbed raw, and blood was oozing out of several places.

"No it means unless you want a mouthful of fist, you'll stop!"

"Pffft, I'd love to see you try!" Shawn's eyes blazed. The two friends stood glaring at each other. The sooner they were able to put more than a foot between them, the better. Shawn yanked Gus in his direction, and this time Gus followed.

They stepped into the kitchen and went through the cabinets.

"Jack pot!" Shawn yelled, pulling out a backpack and letting it thunk on the floor. He pulled out another and let it fall beside the first one.

Gus picked up one and began filling it with the canned food.

"Seriously, Gus?" Shawn said eyeing the can of peas Gus was sliding into the backpack. "What kind of food are you putting in that backpack?" Shawn looked inside and realized with horror it was all healthy food.

"It'll keep us alive, Shawn." Gus said, noticing his friends horrified expression.

"I'm going to die!" Shawn wailed.

"Man up!"

"I am manned up!"

"What kinda man is scared of vegetables?"

"The kind that is extremely handsome with beautiful hair!"

Gus looked Shawn up and down, "You mean Lassiter?"

"You just took this conversation to a very dark level, my friend."

Gus rolled his eyes and continued to put the food into his backpack. Shawn stretched awkwardly as he tried to fill up five gallons of water. When he finished he loaded them into his backpack. He flung it onto his shoulder and sank to his knees.

"Shawn?" Gus asked in alarm, as his hand was yanked downward.

"So heavy…world growing dark…."

"Grow up!"

Shawn didn't make an attempt to move from were he was now laying face down on the floor, causing Gus to be hunched over.

"Give me your back pack!"

Shawn bounced up and gleefully traded Gus backpacks.

"Much better, although I would prefer less healthy intentions."

Gus flicked Shawn's ear.

"I hope no animals come after us, because of all this food." Gus worried.

"Don't worry, I think we'll be safe." Shawn replied as they walked down the front steps of the house. "Unless that thing comes back."

Gus stopped suddenly, the handcuffs jerking Shawn back.

"You mean the Big Hairy Yellow Eyes?" Gus asked, smirking.

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean."

"Wow, Shawn, wow."

"Its better than the alternate name."

"And what would that be?"

Shawn stopped (which yanked Gus's wrist) a serious look on his face, "A werewolf."


	4. Of Bushes and Green Beans

Gus was shocked into silence "Really?"

"No, I just said that to make you ask me if I meant it. Yes really!" Shawn attempted to cross his arms, but his hand stopped midway and he let it fall with a frustrated sigh. He had to do something about these handcuffs.

"You are so stupid! You know there's no such thing! We even had a case about that! The guy was crazy!" Gus sputtered.

"I used to _think _there was no such thing. But after that…." he gestured toward the old houses silhouette, "I don't know what's real and what's not anymore."

Gus rested a hand on his best friends shoulder, sympathy brimming in his eyes.

"You know it wasn't a werewolf though," his voice was gentle.

"I honestly don't know."

"You retard!" he yelled.

"Don't get mad at me!"

Rustling sounded at the corners of the pathway.

"Raccoons," Shawn shuddered.

"What is it with you and raccoons, Shawn?"

"I don't know! They have these beady yellow eyes that watch your every move! And when you pushed me out of the carriage that only made it worse. Remember that?"

Gus sighed, "Okay, that was my fault. I overreacted."

"Damn right you did. Left me out there in the freezing forest with thoughs little…." Gus tuned Shawn out as he rambled. For the next couple of hours they continued to walk at a steady pace, aside from tipping over things they couldn't see, then the sun began to raise. Shawn stumbled around aimlessly, going off course often, making Gus yank on the cuffs to get him back on course. They were walking down a steep hill when Shawn tripped, causing them to both fly into a bush.

"Nature! Its all over me! Get it OFF!" Shawn screamed, the thorns tearing at his clothes and skin.

After that epidemic ("Its just a scratch, Shawn!" Gus told him. "No, I'm bleeding out…." Shawn had wailed from his position face down in the dirt.) they managed to cover more ground.

"I am SO hungry!" Shawn exclaimed right next to Gus's ear.

"How many times I have to tell you not to do that?" Gus growled, rubbing his ear.

"What do we have to eat, Gus?"

Gus tossed the backpack on the ground and sat down, leaning against a fallen log. Shawn dug through the pack with his not handcuffed hand, his face gradually melting into a grimace.

"I knew it. I am going to die," Shawn announced, pawing through the array of canned vegetables.

"Just pick one, Shawn." Gus said, eyes closed.

Shawn grabbed a can of green beans and his pocket knife, settling down next to Gus. He stabbed the top open and winced as the smell came out of the can. He cast a suffering glance at Gus, who had opened his eyes to watch him. Shawn put the can to his lips, then tipped his arm back allowing the contents of the can to slid into his mouth.

"Oh gawd Guth! This isth disgusting!" Shawn gagged on his mouthful of raw green beans. He choked it down, then shuddered violently. Gus was smirking, trying not to grin.

"Shut up!" Shawn muttered.

"I didn't say anything!" Gus protested, then burst out laughing.

"You eat one!" Shawn tossed a can of peas to Gus.

"Fine I will!" Gus stabbed the lid open, tipped his head back and ate the peas. He shuddered. Shawn laughed then leaned his head against the log, closing his eyes and letting his exhaustion wash over him. His mind slowly drifted into the in-between world of wakefulness and sleep, but refused to let him slip into a slumber. Oh well, this was a peaceful place.

"Sh-Shawn!" Gus's voice jerked him roughly from the in-between. He frowned and tried to slip back into the peaceful place he had been only moments before.

"Shawn…"

"_What_ do you _want_?" Shawn burst out, frustrated as the last wisps of sleep where chased out of his mind. His eyes flew open when Gus's hand clapped over his mouth. It took him a moment, in-between shock, being pissed off and blinded by light to make out the thing standing in front of them.

_Well,_ Shawn thought, _At least we know theres no werewolf running through these woods_. Towering above them was a massive black bear.

**Thanks for reading! Review and let me know what you thought about this chapter. Sorry it took so long to get this up, some crazy stuff has been going on in my life. Review! **


	5. Play Dead!

Both of them rose slowly to their feet, "Back away, slowly," Gus murmured, hands held in the air, like he was in a hostage situation.

"What are you doing, Gus? The bear doesn't have a gun!" Shawn hissed out the side of his mouth.

"I'm showing I'm not a threat, Shawn! You should-"

The bear roared, causing both of them to jump.

Gus took a deep breath then whispered, "Whatever you do, don't run."

Shawn stared at him incredulously, "What?!"

"When encountered by a bear your supposed to play dead!"

"If we play dead we'll be dead!"

"Just trust me, Shawn!" They stared at each other for a moment that seemed to last forever, before Shawn slowly began to sink down on his knees, Gus following. Suddenly Shawn's body jerked and he fell on the ground, writhing around and shrieking in the leaf mold on the forest floor. Gus, horrified, stared at his friend writhing around on the floor from unseen wounds. Then he saw the faint smile on Shawn's lips.

"Shawn what the hell are you doing?" Gus asked Shawn who had stopped convulsing and was twitching on the ground.

"Making my death more believable!"

The bear snarled and took a step toward them. They lay still. Then another. They lay still. Another. Gus twitched. Another. "Shawn?" Another.

"What buddy?" Another.

"Run."

Shawn shot to his feet and raced away, yanking Gus up and causing him to flounder as he tried to get his footing.

"Come on, Gus keep up with me!" Shawn panted, craning his neck to peer behind him at his friend. Gus staggered through the thick brush, tripping and stumbling unceremoniously. Shawn's left hand was twisted awkwardly behind his back and Gus's right hand was thrown forward. "Hurry!" Shawn screamed, panic in his voice as growling increased behind them, confirming the bear was in pursuit. They skidded out of the woods, and paused on the edge of the cliff, looking down that the frothing water below, handcuffs clinking loudly. They exchanged a glance, and jumped.

The water rushed up to meet them. It felt like hitting a rock. Water. It was all around them. Which way was up? Shawn couldn't tell. His lungs strained. Gus kicked upward, and his head connected with the bottom of the river. So, switching around, he paddled upward, head breaking the surface just in time. Where is Shawn?

"Shawn?!" Gus screamed, a wave rolling over his head.

"Over here, buddy!"

Gus whirled around and saw Shawn clinging to a rock down stream. Wait. If he was over there that meant…. Gus stopped fighting the current and let to flush him down toward Shawn. His friend lunged out and gripped his arm, pulling him on the rock next to him.

"Handcuffs," Gus said.

Shawn grinned and held up his wrist, the chain had been snapped in half, leaving one cuff around each of their arms. Linking their arms so the current would sweep them away from each other, they paddled to shore.

"The backpack is weighting me down!" Shawn gasped, choking as water rushed into his mouth.

"Don't you dare lose that backpack, Shawn!" Gus gurgled.

The staggered on shore and collapsed. Shawn was breathing heavily, a cut running from his ear to this neck bleeding heavily. They both blacked out.


	6. Howling

"Gus, remember that polar bear?" Shawn panted as he struggled through the brush next to his friend.

"You mean the one who almost gave me a heart attack and a half?" Gus replied, slapping at the mosquitoes that landed on his neck.

"Yeah, that one. Ya know, I really miss that guy. So cuddly and cute. Do you know what I would give to hug that bears soft fur again? I could just cuddle up in it and sleep forever…" Shawn trailed off noticing Gus's judgmental stare.

"You are freaking me out Shawn."

"Are you telling me you could resist that silky white fur?"

"Yes,"

"I knew you weren't a human. What are you? Like a, uh, an alien from the move Alien with Sigourney Weaver and all them."

"You know dats right."

"So that would make you Michael Biehn and me Lance Henriksen. That sucks." he stopped staring straight ahead.

"What?" Gus asked, trying to follow his gaze.

"I just really don't want to be Lance Henriksen,"

"Come on, Shawn, your wasting time. Its getting dark." Gus gestured toward the sun, which was now sitting low in the sky.

"Don't sweat it, Gus, I know exactly what to do." Shawn exclaimed, running and leaping onto a boulder, only to miss judge the distance and land on the ground with a loud thunk.

"Oh, really?"

"Gus please. You underestimate me. I've watched enough Man vs. Wild to know what to do in these situations. First," he paused, recalling the show, "You find a shelter." Gus leaned against a tree, frowning.

"Come on, Gus! Don't be the missing mouse-ca-tool. We can have fun with this! This is a once in a lifetime experience! How many people get to get kidnapped, taken out into the middle of nowhere, escape, be chased by a bear, fall into a swirling twirling river, all the while being handcuffed?" Shawn waved his arms around wildly.

"Not most people, Shawn, because they'd already be dead!"

"My point exactly. We've beat the odds, Gus, beat the odds! We can survive _anything _mother nature can throw at us!" He had managed to climb onto the boulder, and stood proudly, hands in his pockets. Gus rolled his eyes when Shawn foot slipped on the moss-covered top and flopped unceremoniously on the ground.

XXxXxXxXxXx

"Come on, Shawn! You need to help too!" Gus grunted, hauling pine needles over to their "campsite".

"In my defense, I think I was bitten by a mosquito back there and am going through the first stages of Malaria." Shawn wheezed, leaning against a pine tree.

"Shawn, your so full of it."

"Suck it, Gus,"

"You suck it."

"I don't want to suck it. Unless it's a ring pop. Or a push pop. Preferably a ring pop. "

"You know dats right. What."

XXxXxXxXxXx

"You hungry, Shawn?" Gus asked as he held his can of carrots over the fire they had managed to make after an hours debate on the wind direction and fire laws.

"Funny you should ask. I was actually considering going hunting after this." he was laying in the makeshift shelter they had made after Shawn had tripped and fallen through a ivy curtain, reveling a tree where the branches were thick and coarse, low to the ground. They had laid pine needles thickly on the ground in two beds, making a soft, yet itchy bed at the same time. The fire burned in the space in-between them.

"With what?" Gus asked incredulously, hissing as the can became hot burning his hand.

"With this," Shawn pulled out his pocket knife, "If I'm lucky I'll catch a squirrel or a rat. Want me to get you one to?"

"I'm not going to eat a rodent, Shawn!" Gus tipped the warm carrots into his mouth and shuddered as he struggled to swallow them.

Shawn watched then leaned forward, only to fall back on his bed, "Pass me a the backpack." Gus smiled smugly and tossed the backpack over.

"Hey…wait…no way!" Shawn dug inside the pack excitedly, then pulled out a bag of gummy worms. Gus's eyes widened then he jumped off his bed a scrambled over.

"Lemme see that!" he tried to snack it out of Shawn's hands.

"No! I found them!" Shawn jerked the bag out of Gus's reach. After about ten seconds of them rolling on the pine needles, fighting over the gummy worms Shawn yelled, "Okay, Stop!"

Gus stopped, looking furious and bent at the same time.

"You can have one." Shawn said grudgingly.

"Two!"

"One!"

"Four!"

"Fine!"

Gus took his gummy worms and sat back on his bed, munching on them and looking pleased with himself.

Several minutes later when they were both dozing off, a coyote howled in the distance. Shawn roused, then cupped his hands around his mouth and let out a long clear howl. There was silence for a few seconds, then several coyotes rose their voices.

"Shawn, don't do that!" Gus exclaimed, wide eyed.

"Why?"

"They might come over here!" Gus responded in his know it all voice.

"Gus, live a little."

"No!"

"You know you want to." Shawn listened as the coyotes howled.

"Nope." Gus looked away. Then after sitting in silence he said, "oh what the hell, probably wont get out of this alive anyway." he cupped his mouth and howled.

"That was terrible." Shawn smirked.

"It was not. I have the howl of a wolf, Shawn." Gus stated proudly.

"Keep telling yourself that."

Gus started to protest, but Shawn howled again, and after a couple of mintues, both of them fell asleep to the sound of crickets and coyotes.


	7. Running downhill is one thing

"Well, sitting there staring, isn't going to get us out of this any faster, Gus!" Shawn said, looking from his best friend and the mountain before them. He sighed and started to run up the steep slope, Gus trailing after him. He pushed with all his force against the ground, which sent a shower of dirt and pebbles onto Gus.

"Do you mind?" Gus panted, blinking dirt out of his eyes. Shawn was running several feet in front of him, and was pulling himself up over a stone slab with newfound hope. Gus came up more slowly, and when he got to the stone slab, Shawn was sitting on it staring wide-eyed at something in the distance.

"What?" Gus asked craning his neck to look over his shoulder. Shawn started shaking violently and pointed at the bottom of the mountain they had just come from. A brownish black shape was moving at the base of the mountain. Gus's eyes widened. "Oh my God." He breathed, "It followed us!" he yelled, turning back to look at Shawn. The place he had been sitting only moments before was empty and he was running with speed Gus had never seen Shawn run with before up the mountain. Gus bolted after him. Panting Gus managed to catch up with his best friend and ran at his side. They were halfway up the mountain when they stopped and looked behind them. The bear was nowhere in sight. Gus took deep breaths and Shawn dramatically flopped backwards, lying motionless on the ground except for the heaving of his chest.

"Gus…. I don't think….. I ever need…..to work out….again!" Shawn panted in-between breaths. Gus nodded his agreement then reached toward Shawn.

"Give me some water," he said, rubbing his head.

Shawn shook his head, "No can do buddy."

Gus's head jerked up. "Why not?!"

"Because I had to run fast and in order to do that I had to ditch something."

"Yeah! Me! I saw you take off without me! Why can't I have water?!"

"If you want to hike back down and get the pack be my guest, just don't let Mr. Curly Claws know your down there." Shawn replied not making eye contact.

"You ditched the water pack?!" Gus screeched.

"What was I supposed to do? Get eaten?" Shawn defended himself.

"I we get out of this alive, I'm gonna kill you!" Gus spat.

Shawn rolled his eyes and waved a dismissive arm at Gus. He knew his friend would forgive him sooner or later. He sighed and raised his eyes to the sky. He studied the position of the sun for a while and then stood up, hitting Gus's arm.

"If we hurry we'll get to the top of this mountain by sundown." He said.

Gus sighed and stood up. "Do you somehow know what could be on the other side?" he asked hopefully.

"We'll," Shawn said helping his friend up and beginning to walk up the mountain side by side, "I know there are two possibilities. There could be a city on the other side."

"Preferably," Gus cut in.

"Or there could be another mountain." Shawn continued. "Most likely another mountain."

Gus scoffed and pushed ahead of Shawn and muttered, "Why can't you be a real psychic?"


End file.
